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Happiness (Blogophilia V.9) |
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| It was January16th, 1997 and it was a windy day, a day just like the others, but different.A thought was bothering me since the early hours and I was anxious so I waited for my kid to come back from school and we started to get ready to go out
"Where are we going mommy?""We're going to Mami Chayo to visit her, we haven't done it in a long time, it is a good moment to change that besides to go and see Mami is a good thing, don't you agree?""Yes Mommy, it is"
My kid smiled.We took a shower as fast as we could, I wanted to be sure my kid ears were tidy so I used Green apple soap to clean her, it was my grandmother's favorite scent, and washing our hair I couldn't stop thinking "This day has to be special"little I knew then.She watched me trying to fix my hair with her eyes wide open, maybe she was confused on the fact I always used my hair far from a fancy way and more like a bad hair day all the time, this time I wanted to surprise my Grandmother with my hair tied up, she basically hated to see me so messy all the time. |
| She watched me trying to fix my hair with her eyes wide open, maybe she was confused on the fact I always used my hair far from a fancy way and more like a bad hair day all the time, this time I wanted to surprise my Grandmother with my hair tied up, she basically hated to see me so messy all the time.It was normal to hear her saying "Here comes la mechuda" (the one with the messed up hair) each time she saw me getting down the car, but somehow that phrase was always accompanied by the tenderest welcoming face in the world.I was ready, a last glance over the mirror to make sure
"Mommy, you look like a ballerina"
Those words from my kid were the sign I was looking for
"So do you"
I replied to her and we headed out the house got in the car and drove to Mami's place.She was outside waiting for us and from the car we heard her voice
"But look at those princesses!"We were laughing hard, my kid and me, apparently our plans to please her had succeeded so we ran to hug her and kiss her.We talked a lot that afternoon and we danced and said jokes, all the things she loved to do, we did and more. |
| We talked a lot that afternoon and we danced and said jokes, all the things she loved to do, we did and more.After having some coffee we went to her bedroom and I don't know why we started to talk about her fancy jewelry, my grandmother was famous for using gorgeous jewelry and for being the most elegant woman you could imagine, she was classy and classic, a daughter of the moon wearing pearls with a heart made of iron and candythe one I would like to be when I grow up but I honestly doubt to be able to do it, there was only one like her, so there we?were and we began to dig into her boxes and to take out those things considered trash, cleaning the other pieces and putting some order, she gave me a lot of necklaces and earrings (fantasy jewelry), nothing valuable to other people but for me they were made of gold, along with that she gave me a pendant, it was this beautiful natural emerald that one day we went to pick because she had requested a special white gold piece to cage the stone to the jeweler, she was so happy that day so for me that pendant was happiness as well, I was nine years old that day and now I was twenty eight and the same feeling was still there, it was mine and I couldn't believe it, Mami had given me Happiness and I knew everything was going to be alright for me from that moment and on.The evening fell over us without noticing it so the time to go and to pick my husband from his job to join us, I left for five minutes because the place is near my Grandmother's house, my little girl stayed with Mami playing in the woods out back the house, my daughter same as I was, loved to cook in plastic pots some flowers and leaves and then share the soup with any victim willing to try the infamous recipe...Mami wasn't going to be the exception, she knew the routine and knowing her, she was happy to try itthat was the same woman that gave me Barbie's house for Christmas when everyone thought it was too expensive for a toy to waste money into, the same one who thought my first painting was the best painting in the world and send it to frame so she had this weeping willow wannabe with fuchsia background hanging on the wall of her room, the same woman that enjoyed practicing the moonwalk with me when no one else could find the time to be with meyes, Mami was in the woods out back the house enjoying her bowl of flower's soup.When we came back I was in a hurry, my aunt who wanted something to eat asked us for a meal so we decided to go and?buy it for her, I called my kid and told her to be ready to leave when we were back from the restaurant and in my rush I broke a Vase which was right in the entrance, Mami was in calm and I was hysteric not knowing what to do and she waas telling me to not worry because it was just an ugly vase?but I knew she loved it and it was frustrating not to know how to replace it, there wasn't a way for me to pay for the damage."Don't worry, really, I was sick of watching it there, you gave me a reason to put something more beautiful there, now go and see you when you're back"
I left but somehow I felt awfulnot somehow, I left feeling absolutely awful but I left anyway. |
| "Don't worry, really, I was sick of watching it there, you gave me a reason to put something more beautiful there, now go and see you when you're back"
I left but somehow I felt awfulnot somehow, I left feeling absolutely awful but I left anyway.We got the food and gave it to my aunt, my husband blew the horn and my daughter came out and got into the car."Aren't we going to say good bye and hug Mami?"I asked to my husband, but he was in a hurry and there was no time for good byes or hugs to Mami, I waved to her from the window and she waved back, I still can't believe I didn't bring out my character then and got down from the damn car since the "important" thing we had to do was to meet with some of my husband's friends that I even didn't like.We were home passed midnight so I didn't go to bed but instead took out some musical jewelry boxes I had still new to put all my treasures in there so I did, I played the boxes tunes, one was "Only Yesterday" and the other one was "Amazing grace" when everything was inside the boxes I headed myself to bed, it was a long day and I was tired.In my dreams I was listening to my mom calling out my name so I opened my eyesit wasn't in my dreams, my mom was outside my house at 2 am calling me so I went down and opened the door still very confused and sleepy. |
| In my dreams I was listening to my mom calling out my name so I opened my eyesit wasn't in my dreams, my mom was outside my house at 2 am calling me so I went down and opened the door still very confused and sleepy."What's happening mom?"daddy was with her."Mami passed away at midnight, she had a heart attack" she said
"What."I started to cry, "this has to be a nightmare" was the only thought inside my head pounding, this wasn't true, Mami was happy because I visited her, how could she be dead, I started to feel sick and to throw up, my husband came down to see what was going on.The day of the funeral my uncle and his group was there playing music, they played "Amazing grace" to say good bye to her, apparently it was a wish of her and they knew but I didn't..I still can't think about this without crying, I don't go to my grandmother's house because this way I pretend she is still there, I don't face pain, I hide from it because I don't know how to deal with itshe is in my heart every day, it couldn't be different, that's the woman who gave me happiness caged and happiness is green same as hope so wherever you are right now making others feeling special you better be sure that here it is your granddaughter missing you, loving you although she was careless when the time to give the right hug was in front of her. |
| I still can't think about this without crying, I don't go to my grandmother's house because this way I pretend she is still there, I don't face pain, I hide from it because I don't know how to deal with itshe is in my heart every day, it couldn't be different, that's the woman who gave me happiness caged and happiness is green same as hope so wherever you are right now making others feeling special you better be sure that here it is your granddaughter missing you, loving you although she was careless when the time to give the right hug was in front of her.Doa Rosario Madriz B.
1916-1997www.the internet.com/blogophilia
Week 9 Topic: The Woods Out Back
?bonus points (hard, 2 points): Include the breaking of Grandma's ugly vase.?bonus points (easy, 1 point): Mention the Moonwalk. |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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