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Expectation can ruin a good thing! |
Lypha
| She LOVED to ice skate.Every chance she?d get, she?d sneak off to the rink and skate.It was just so much fun!And then she met a friend and He wanted to do it with her.Oh, this was exciting because now they could do more tricks together and increase the fun.They would sneak off to the rink together and skate until they were exhausted.They started to fall in love because this is something special that they shared together.One day, He said, "I expect you to go to the rink with me today."?That?s a funny way of putting it?, she thought."Ya of course, that?s what I wanted to do anyway, geesh!"She thought, ?Lighten up!?One day, the girl didn?t want to go to the rink.She wanted to eat chocolate instead...yummy!He started to panic, "Well", he said "will you be ready to go tomorrow??"He looked at her with desperate pleading........"Maybe" She said with her mouth full.She licked the chocolate off her lips."I don?t know, it depends on my mood.""But I really really want to go to the rink!"He starts to fume."Fine!"She says "Go, then.""By myself?!"He?s flabbergasted!Throughout the days, He gets more and more frustrated and starts to feel the nagging need to make her want to do it with him.?After all?, He thinks, ?this is something that she is SUPPOSED to do with me. It?s her job!Besides, I feel "not loved" by her unless she wants to ice skate with me. Even though she wants to eat with me, talk with me, walk with me and lots of other things.....she must not love me if she doesn?t want to ice skate with me.?As He grows more and more panicky, his level of EXPECTATION grows too.It?s a way of coping.Unfortunately, the more his EXPECTATION grows, the more she starts to feel trapped and She loses the drive that she had for skating.?It used to be so fun!?She thought.What happened?Maybe it was because skating that used to come out of true, simple, spontaneous choice has now been tainted with manipulation and complications.It?s not something that She wants to do anymore because it has turned into a chore, aka an EXPECTATION.Getting really aggravated now, He said, "If you don?t go to the rink with me tomorrow, I?ll stop being your friend!""You can?t do that!"She panics."I EXPECT you to be my friend!" |
| "I EXPECT you to be my friend!"(now she?s doing the expecting)"Fine" He says, feeling a bit more reasonable now, "but I?ll need to find another friend to skate with.""You can?t do that either!!"She screams, feeling hysterical.Why?He mutters."Because.....because.....I don?t know, it?s something special just between us!"She tries."I?m not getting enough of this ?specialness?between us," He complains.(If you haven?t gotten it by now, I?m talking about sex.Now I?m switching gears to talk about sex directly)This leaves the woman feeling like she has to choose between her individual freedom or her "security".It?s a hard choice to make and some women make the first choice, some women make the second choice.But realize that this is the choice.If she makes the second choice, she has not chosen "to love you more".She is just afraid of her freedom.She has chosen to be "secure" with you.This would explain why from here on out, your sex life seems empty and passionless.To get the passion back, you have to remove your expectation for it.It?s hard to do but it?s what?s necessary.Just think about the woman you met at the bar, you thought ?I might get lucky....I might NOT.?You were excited about the possibility of getting lucky but you wouldn?t dream of EXPECTING it from this stranger, would you?THAT, my friend , is WHERE IT?S AT!And that is certainly a trick!.....to keep the expectation low as the relationship progresses....but it?s a trick worth learning men!I know you have all of society?s conditionings to contend with but I think you can do it.That is what is going to make your wife keep that sort of "sexy stranger" status.Another example boys.Which is more rewarding?Calling a call girl and just paying her to tango....OR engaging in the dating scene, being turned down a number of times, and then by your own charm, lure a hottie to bed?Huh?If you really wanted to improve your confidence, you?ll have to remove the expectation.....just like you?d do for the sexy stranger.Otherwise, your wife will be like the call girl thinking, "Here we go again, just another job...."FINAL THOUGHTSParticularly in this blog, I wanted to talk about the unfair expectation for sex that men so often put on their woman......BUT that doesn?t mean that I don?t recognize the unfair expectations that women put on their man. I think that the principle of expectation applies to that as well.Expectation has the potential to ruin just about any good thing.So men, think about how you feel when your wife expects things of you and how it makes you feel like a slave-horse and then you?ll know how women feel about sex.We BOTH (men and women) need to control our tendency to EXPECT things.Women, the more you expect out of your husband that goes beyond what you expected out of him as just a decent human being when you first met, the worse it becomes.Keep it simple folks! |
| Women, the more you expect out of your husband that goes beyond what you expected out of him as just a decent human being when you first met, the worse it becomes.Keep it simple folks! |
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Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )
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